Sis, Stand up! | A Truth About Self Advocacy and Speaking Up!

Char Truth W.
Jun 3
4 min read

Hey family! Especially our newbies! 💕 It’s Char here. I’m a self-advocacy coach, a healer, and just a real woman who’s had to teach herself how to speak up, especially in moments where I felt small, silenced, or spiritually stomped on.

Let’s get straight to it.

What is Self Advocacy really?

Self advocacy isn't just about speaking up in a meeting or asking for a raise. It’s about knowing your worth, creating a life standard, building and sticking to boundaries, trusting your voice, and honoring your energy... even when the world (or the people in it) try to minimize you, gaslight you, or guilt you into silence.

I had to learn this the hard way.

Just this week, someone I used to care about and trust came into my space, crossed a line, and disrespected my boundaries... all in front of my kids. He tried to take something sacred to me, my empowerment cards, because it didn’t align with his beliefs. And the part that really shook me? The way he tried to spiritualize his disrespect, calling me a witch and demonizing something that actually helps me stay grounded and connected to my higher self.

It was triggering. It was violating. And it was a reminder: Advocating for yourself means honoring your spirit, your space, and your safety. Period. No exceptions!

The Dirty Little Truth (DLT)

The DLT is that we are constantly told to be quiet, to be nice, to “not make it a big deal.” or to flat out deal with lies! But the truth? Silencing yourself to keep the peace only creates a war inside.

Studies show that people who consistently suppress their needs and emotions are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. 👀 You heard right, your silence can literally make you sick.

So, let me break it down for you like a sister would:

Real-Life Examples of When to Speak Up

🛑 “You’re overreacting.”

🛑 “That never happened.”

🛑 “You need to change to fit in.”

🛑 “You’re being too emotional.”

🛑 “That’s not how things are done here.”

These comments might seem subtle, but they’re loud in how they chip away at your confidence. Whether it’s a partner, a parent, a boss, or even a friend, if you’re constantly left second-guessing your truth, that’s a red flag. That’s when it’s time to stand up.

So how do you actually do that?

Here’s the real-life, not-too-pretty, but hella powerful starter kit to self advocacy:

1. Know What You Need and Own It

Before you can stand up, you gotta stand in your truth. I cannot stress enough how important it is to practice self awareness, while creating and maintaining a log of data, that is your thoughts, feelings and experiences, so that you can be your own checkpoint, should things go left. Journal, reflect, pray — whatever helps you get clear. What do YOU need to feel safe, heard, respected?

2. Check Yourself with Compassion

Babe, Don’t gaslight yourself. Your feelings are valid. Stop telling yourself, “Maybe I’m tripping.” Nah sis, if it felt wrong, it probably was. Trust your body... it tells you the truth before your mind does.

3. Say It With Your Chest (But With Clarity)

Use “I” statements to communicate your needs without making it a war.

🗣 “I feel disrespected when you walk into my room without asking.”

🗣 “I need you to not touch my things without permission.”

You don’t have to yell to be powerful. It's also okay not to "do the right thing" in the heat of adversity. Journal the experience and capture that data so you know how to act in the future.

4. Hold Your Boundaries ... Like a Grown-Ass Woman

If someone breaks your boundaries after you’ve made them clear, that’s not a misunderstanding. That’s a choice. (This easily becomes disrespect) And choices have consequences, even if that consequence is you walking away. I am sure you've heard time and time again, if you have to choose, choose you!

5. Build Your Tribe

You need people who hype you up, hold you down, and hold you accountable. You are not meant to do this life alone. Your support system is part of your wellness strategy. For me personally, this area of life is not so traditional. My support system looks like my chiropractor, my investment group, select social media friends, my mother and my kids. It's okay to be creative in this category.